Of Complaints and Sufferings

Ang hirap naman! 'Di ko na kaya 'to! Nakakainis, ayoko na!! 

These were the words that escaped my mind and, more horrendously, my mouth every time I failed the 24-hour vow of silence I am keeping for my soul training. In case you don't know, I am naturally a blabber mouth -  so practising an entire day of silence was ULTRA HARD for me. From the very beginning, I knew that it was going to be hard, but who'd thought that by saying that I meant failing in as fast as 10 minutes!

Well anyway, as I was reflecting on the fact that I have failed 3 times in a span of an hour and a half, I almost came to the conclusion that I am rendered powerless by my tongue and am at the mercy of this suffering. But that was when God knocked into my heart and said "Hep hep! Why don't you let me help you with that?"

~O~

"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."

Luke 22:42 (NLT)

In the verse above from Luke, we read the very words of Jesus Christ, the God and Man, asking for His beloved Father to rid him of His sufferings. More than surely and more than once in our lives, I'm certain that we have found ourselves in the very position - asking for God's help, kneeling and begging for Him to take away the pains and suffering we could no longer bear. We ask Him to free us from the painful experiences, painful decisions and lonely paths we have to take - and sometimes, we just find ourselves still in anguish and still with the burden and pain and cursing God.

Even Jesus prayed to God; but in the end he still died a painful death on the cross.

Is our God, a God who forsakes, then? A God who leaves us to rot, for He left even His one and only son to die a slow and painful death?

Now Jesus was MAN and GOD. He was Divine, for He is of the Father... but He is MAN - a man who sweat, grew tired and hungry and thirsty, a man who peed and pooed and probably smelled. Jesus was no different from the people before nor no different from us! There was no cheat because of His Divinity, because for us to be saved, he needed to be fully a HUMAN. With this, pain is no visitor for him but an old friend, an old friend He did not want to meet again, but reunited with anyway.

The answer to the many questions is simple - Jesus is God, and God really really IS love. Therefore God offered His Son and Jesus willed His Father's will because of LOVE. The crown of thorns, the heavy cross, the piercing of the nails - all of these did nothing to make Jesus back out from the promise of LOVE he lives for us. Love conquered all... EVEN DEATH :)

~O~

Realizing that Jesus died on the cross while watching the people He saved forsake Him; yet with a heart that swells with forgiveness and grace is enough for me to stop and say to myself...

Jesus died on the cross for me, what is my pain compared to his?

With this I am resolved to having my sufferings as my offerings. What are these pains when there is comfort from God himself and in his will. He says...

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

In whatever suffering and trials that we may have, the Lord is always there. He may not always take it away from us, but I am sure that he carries us where we can no longer walk. For His plan has already conquered death, what else is there to fear? :)